Twerps, twits and trollops

22 December 2014

Having travelled around a bit this year, I am told that we – the English – are world-renowned for our ‘interesting use of language’. I don’t think that’s a polite way of saying that we swear a lot. It’s more that we have some quite quirky words that we use colloquially which do not always ‘translate’ even in countries who apparently speak English as their native language. Some of these words are in the Oxford English Dictionary, whilst others will most probably never make it there (or here) for a multitude of reasons….

In recent weeks – in the run-up to this wonderful festive season of lunacy which is about to be upon us – I have (un)fortunately had to resurrect a few words from my archived vocabulary. These have been required solely to describe – only to myself and whoever has the pleasure of sharing my (generally) vehicle at the time – individuals who are almost certainly only acting the way they are because it’s December.

Why would you park your car in Sainsburys car park (at all!), not in a marked bay? You look like a right royal twit when there are five spaces between you and the nearest parked car. Furthermore, you are parking where we are all trying to drive, you nitwit!

How could you have missed the fact that there is a queue as long as my left and right arms put together, and think it’s OK for you to go and pay for your Christmas purchases ahead of all of us, you twerp!? And well, Bath on a Saturday night close to Christmas…. that might just explain the trollops, or am I just getting old?

Now, mull over all the other words I had to sideline today ….

[The big day is almost upon us – have you spotted the hidden message in the titles of FWL blogs? Well done to those who have already worked it out – there are quite a few of you! – do email us if you think you know!]

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