Sir, Madam and the Average Speed Cameras

19 March 2015

Dear Whoever-you-are-who-looks-down-on-us-all (if you even exist – but hey, it’s worth a try),

I wonder if you could kindly explain a few things to me as, to be quite frank, I am a tad bit Without boring you with all the intricate details of my day, up until about 2pm it was going pretty ‘normally’ (whatever that is). I decided to pop into a petrol station around that time to grab a bottle of water for the journey back to the office (I was, once again, in Bris’ol [Bristol]) and that is where things turned a little ‘odd’. The queue to pay wasn’t enormous. Just one chap (man) in front of me and I noted that the attendant referred to him as ‘Sir’ in every sentence. I was impressed. It’s not often you hear the terms ‘Sir’ and ‘Madam’ uttered these days when you are purchasing goods. So, why was I referred to as ‘Love’, pray tell? If he was ‘Sir’, why was I not ‘Madam’? Harumph….


Returning down the M4 for the nth time this week (n seeming like a rather large number and it’s only Wednesday), I realised (once again) just how bloody infuriating the 50 mph average speed cameras are when no-one is actually doing any work on the motorway for miles and miles and miles….! Could they just work on a small section at a time and just make the lanes narrower in the particular part of the road? No. Instead, they create miles worth of disruption for months on end. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support what they are doing. A 50 mph limit when there are work men nearby is utterly sensible and replacing the central reservation barriers saves lives, accidents and more…. but there IS a better way of doing it, surely. Perhaps you could advise?

Being a frequent late night driver, I returned back home after the witching hour this evening following a lovely meal and catch up with some colleagues from yesteryear. Once again travelling on the M4, it would seem that on this stretch they only close lanes at night to carry out essential maintenance work. That’s OK as the volume of traffic is much lower at this tim
e of day (well, night actually, clearly) and the journey time is not affected much. Genius plan – now which Sir, Madam, or Love came up with this wonderful idea? Please could you praise their ingenuity and pass on this fantastic idea to the others who don’t do this?

And so, the return to Wiltshire completed, I drove into the driveway with blog plans in mind. I thought, ‘I’ll get writing, once the intravenous drip of coffee is attached’. Well, I was scuppered. Misplaced the house keys…. HOW?! The front door is locked so they must be in the car somewhere…. Ugh….

[Story to be continued….]

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