…. the easiest word in the world. Most of Tuesday was extremely successful and my main working day ended (along with step count, distance, active minutes and everything) much earlier than I had expected. Once again, new cases signed and a vast quantity of paperwork shifted but…. I tried to use my mobile at 3:30pm and it would not work. No incoming calls accepted and no outgoing calls possible. Rather than clog up the landline, I decided to use the Vodafone online chat fixing thingamabob. “Sorry for the inconvenience, Madam” etc. etc. and then the standard security check questions. “That’s fine Madam. If you switch off your handset for 15 minutes, then turn it back on again, it will all work perfectly.”
Well, jolly marvellous – I thought. Until I switched it back on again, and there was no improvement. So, back on the online chat doobry wotsit…. First person clearly had no clue and so transferred our chat thing to person three (of the day). He proceeded to tell me that he had reset my somethingoranother and, if I switched off my handset, switched it back on again and then manually selected my network, all will be cushdy. Erm, sadly not.
So, I try the online doofer chat thingy again – not much greater success so finally, I give in to the wait time on the 0333 number. And guess what? A lady with English as her (at least) second language who, at the beginning of every sentence says “I am so sorry, Madam”. I don’t want you to be bloody sorry! I want you to fix the problem!!!! (Having been on their chat thing for over an hour and already in the line for over 10 minutes.)
She then proceeds to ask me to try my SIM card in another phone (or a spare handset as she calls it). Which spare handset would that be? The one I keep in the bedside drawer, just in case I ever need it?! She continues….”Or you can use someone else’s phone and just swap the SIM card briefly….” Like who!? I live on my own you dozy mare. “We can transfer all your calls to a landline, Madam, as there is some maintenance going on in your area and you may not have normal service until 10pm on 26 August.” WHAT?!?!?! Nearly 36 hours outage and you didn’t even bother to tell me?!?!?!
Well, Vodafone…. saying sorry is not enough (in fact, if you say it every sentence, it’s damned infuriating). I have had a mobile for 15 years and I have NEVER had such poor service as to not allow incoming or outgoing calls to and from my mobile for 36 hours. I do believe that tomorrow may well involve a trip to a local store which deals in mobile phones in order to get out of my current contract, pronto. Vodafone – you can stick your contract. I am out of here.
