When I parted company with my last full-time employer, I was given several presents from ‘the staff’ as a whole – some slightly eccentric ones and some with more obvious connections. Certain members of ‘the team’ wrote cards wishing me well and various parents, students and staff recognised my tenure with a small gift. One particular member of staff presented me with a pig. I was, at first, slightly aghast. However, this pig is a money box and it was decreed that this special container of funds should be used for occasions on which an expletive was uttered by me in my future career.
Pig has pride of place in my lounge on the bookcase and to date, has not been used for his intended function in life. He appears quite happy resting there, with a couple of Wombles and other furry creatures. However, Pig has been watching out today and he has been unimpressed by the language, I am sorry to say.
In no particular order, one of my earrings has departed my ear stage left and is unavoidably detained somewhere in the world. Not one from a favourite set of earrings but none the less, annoying. No expletive/s required. Last week, a letter was written to a high street bank in relation to an intestacy matter. This morning, said high street bank claim to have no knowledge of the deceased, stating he held no accounts with them?! Progressing past this point – discovering that the deceased account holder is a customer of their partner bank – they begin to tell me what they need from me in order to claim the estate. And we have the usual problem: they have no idea! Lots of bad language uttered prior to passing on several past case references in the hope that the young lady can resolve this ‘issue’. Not holding my breath….
After a rather exhausting Friday (well, the whole week really!), I returned to the office late this evening from a meeting on the outskirts of Bath. A French driver was apparently unsure whether s/he wished to go right into the industrial estate or continue on the main road with me. As I was slowly getting used to the lack of presence of said vehicle in my main field of vision, s/he decided to choose my lane again and proceeded to stop dead in front of me. Apparently, the meaning of the green filter on the traffic lights was lost in translation. Language barrier, maybe…. but I am pretty sure GREEN MEANS GO in any language!!!
Thankfully, although Pig has been keeping an eye on proceedings, not many people have heard my outbursts today. Now to take a long walk…. oh, hang on, it’s getting late. Perhaps just a good night’s sleep will improve things.
Apologies Pig. Here’s to a better day tomorrow.
[Well, I have done my good Samaritan deed for the week now – more on that another day….]
