Genealogists are natural detectives. We delve into centuries of records, piecing together the fragments of our ancestors’ lives. We search for births, marriages, and deaths, scan census returns for lost family members, and comb through gravestones and churchyard inscriptions to discover more about where ‘our people’ are laid to rest. But what happens when there’s no gravestone? No burial plot? No nothing to mark the last resting place of a loved one?
For the millions of us who choose cremation and then go on to scatter ashes – this final chapter of life often goes undocumented. It’s an odd thought, really. We’re meticulous about recording other significant milestones, but when it comes to where our loved ones’ ashes are laid to rest, we sometimes let the memory fade. As genealogists, we know just how vital it is to preserve these moments – not just for us, but for generations to come.
A Quiet Shift in Tradition
In the UK, cremation has been the choice for over 80% of those who pass away annually. And increasingly, families are opting to scatter ashes in meaningful places rather than leave them in traditional cemeteries. A favourite beach, a beloved forest walk, a spot overlooking the hills where someone grew up – these locations hold deep emotional value. But here’s the problem: they’re rarely documented.
Unlike burials, which are recorded in parish registers and marked by headstones, scattered ashes leave little tangible evidence. Families scatter in private moments, often with no witnesses outside their immediate circle. It’s personal, it’s heartfelt, it’s poignant. But without a record, these locations and stories risk being lost to time. Losing a piece of the puzzle and end chapter in a story is because often the location of ashes has more meaning than the location of any other milestones.
Stories That Could Vanish
Think about this: where are the ashes of your grandparents, great-grandparents, or even your parents scattered? If you don’t know, it’s not surprising. For many families, these details are passed down by word of mouth – “oh, your grandmother loved that garden, so we scattered her there” – but often fade after a generation or two.
In the absence of formal memorials, these resting places risk being forgotten entirely. Future genealogists could be tracing your family tree and never uncover this final, meaningful chapter of someone’s story. This is a shame. These places, often chosen with great thought and love, are just as much a part of family history as where someone was born or married.
Preserving Legacy, One Resting Place at a Time
This is where The Ashes Register comes in – a platform that invites us to change the narrative. The site offers families, genealogists, and history enthusiasts a way to record the final resting places of cremated remains. It’s simple: you create a digital entry, marking where ashes have been scattered, stored, or buried. It’s like creating a virtual gravestone, but one that can be accessed and passed down through generations. And the good part is it is free.
The site has got traction within the funeral world where it’s creator, Richard Martin, has been working with families to help them memorialise with ashes for years.
As Richard said, “Over the year running Scattering Ashes we would have people email and call to find where their loved one is scattered, it got me thinking – we should have a way for families to record this final act, otherwise it will be lost.
Since 1970, we estimate that over 7 million sets of ashes have been scattered in the UK alone, very few have been recorded, certainly not in any formal or lasting way. And when we asked people if we thought that it was important, almost 80% of people thought there should be a way.
So, we created The Ashes Register to preserve this, free and available to all.”
Why Genealogists Should Get Involved
As genealogists, we thrive on piecing together the fragments of people’s lives. Yet, the trend towards scattering ashes leaves a gap in our work – a blank page where a meaningful story could sit. By encouraging families to record these details now, we’re not just preserving memories; we’re enriching the resources that future genealogists will rely on.
The Ashes Register also opens doors to new opportunities. Imagine a family historian being able to link burial records with cremation data or map out a family’s final resting places across generations. These digital entries could eventually become part of wider genealogical databases, making them accessible to historians, researchers, and family members alike.
It’s Not Just About Facts; It’s About Stories
At its heart, genealogy is about more than names and dates – it’s about understanding lives, choices, and legacies. Scattering ashes is a deeply personal act, often tied to love, memory, and a sense of place. By recording these locations, we’re not just preserving coordinates on a map; we’re capturing emotions, values, and connections.
So next time you’re working on your family tree, why not ask yourself: where are the ashes of my loved ones? And more importantly, have I recorded it for future generations to discover?
The Ashes Register is inviting all of us – families and genealogists alike – to think differently about memorialisation. Together, we can ensure that no resting place, and no story, is ever forgotten.
